One who says to his friend, "Konam, that I benefit from you if you don't come and take for your sons one cor of wheat and two barrels of wine." Behold this one is able to nullify his vow without a sage, and he will say to him, "you only said this for my honor, and this is my honor [not to take from you]!" And also one who says to his friend: "Konam, that you benefit from me, if you don't come and give to my son one cor of wheat and two barrels of wine," Rabbi Meir says: he is forbidden, until he gives. The Sages say, even in this he is able to nullify his vow without a sage, and he will say to him,"Behold it is like I already accepted it." If they were pressuring him to marry his sister's daughter, and he says, "Konam, that she should benefit from me forever;" so too, one who divorces his wife and says "Konam, that my wife should benefit from me forever;" these are both permitted to benefit from him because his intent was only towards marriage. If he was pressuring his friend to eat with him, and he says, "Konam, into your house I shall not enter,""A drop of cold water I will not taste from you," he is permitted to enter his house and taste cold water because his intent was only towards eating and drinking.

 נדרים 8.7
והָאוֹמֵר לַחֲבֵרוֹ קוֹנָם שֶׁאֲנִי נֶהֱנֶה לְךָ אִם אֵין אַתָּה בָא וְנוֹטֵל לְבָנֶיךָ כּוֹר אֶחָד שֶׁל חִטִּין וּשְׁתֵּי חָבִיּוֹת שֶׁל יַיִן, הֲרֵי זֶה יָכוֹל לְהָפֵר אֶת נִדְרוֹ שֶׁלֹּא עַל פִּי חָכָם, וְיֹאמַר לוֹ, כְּלוּם אָמַרְתָּ אֶלָּא מִפְּנֵי כְבוֹדִי, זֶהוּ כְבוֹדִי. וְכֵן הָאוֹמֵר לַחֲבֵרוֹ קוֹנָם שֶׁאַתָּה נֶהֱנֶה לִי אִם אֵין אַתָּה בָא וְנוֹתֵן לִבְנִי כּוֹר אֶחָד שֶׁל חִטִּין וּשְׁתֵּי חָבִיּוֹת שֶׁל יַיִן, רַבִּי מֵאִיר אוֹמֵר, אָסוּר עַד שֶׁיִּתֵּן. וַחֲכָמִים אוֹמְרִים, אַף זֶה יָכוֹל לְהָפֵר אֶת נִדְרוֹ שֶׁלֹּא עַל פִּי חָכָם, וְיֹאמַר לוֹ, הֲרֵי אֲנִי כְאִלּוּ הִתְקַבָּלְתִּי. הָיוּ מְסָרְבִין בּוֹ לָשֵׂאת בַּת אֲחוֹתוֹ וְאָמַר קוֹנָם שֶׁהִיא נֶהֱנֵית לִי לְעוֹלָם, וְכֵן הַמְגָרֵשׁ אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ וְאָמַר קוֹנָם אִשְׁתִּי נֶהֱנֵית לִי לְעוֹלָם, הֲרֵי אֵלּוּ מֻתָּרוֹת לֵהָנוֹת לוֹ, שֶׁלֹּא נִתְכַּוֵּן זֶה אֶלָּא לְשׁוּם אִישׁוּת. הָיָה מְסָרֵב בַּחֲבֵרוֹ שֶׁיֹּאכַל אֶצְלוֹ, אָמַר קוֹנָם לְבֵיתְךָ שֶׁאֵינִי נִכְנָס, טִפַּת צוֹנֵן שֶׁאֵינִי טוֹעֵם לָךְ, מֻתָּר לִכָּנֵס לְבֵיתוֹ וְלִשְׁתּוֹת מִמֶּנּוּ צוֹנֵן, שֶׁלֹּא נִתְכַּוֵּן זֶה אֶלָּא לְשׁוּם אֲכִילָה וּשְׁתִיָּה:

Rabbi Eliezer says, we give a person an opening [to a vow] by reference to the honor of their father and mother. The Sages forbid doing so. Rabbi Tzadok said, that rather than giving an opening through the honor of their father and mother, open with honor of God. [The Sages retort:] If so there would be no vows! The Sages agree to Rabbi Eliezer in a matter between him and his father and mother, that we may open with the honor of his father and mother.

 נדרים 9.1
רַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר אוֹמֵר, פּוֹתְחִין לָאָדָם בִּכְבוֹד אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ. וַחֲכָמִים אוֹסְרִין. אָמַר רַבִּי צָדוֹק, עַד שֶׁפּוֹתְחִין לוֹ בִכְבוֹד אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ, יִפְתְּחוּ לוֹ בִכְבוֹד הַמָּקוֹם, אִם כֵּן אֵין נְדָרִים. וּמוֹדִים חֲכָמִים לְרַבִּי אֱלִיעֶזֶר בְּדָבָר שֶׁבֵּינוֹ לְבֵין אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ, שֶׁפּוֹתְחִין לוֹ בִּכְבוֹד אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ: